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I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t!

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My grand mother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty… she’s ninety seven now and we don’t know where the hell she is!

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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio

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Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible, impossible.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go!

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There is more to life than increasing it’s speed.

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If you can’t convince them… Confuse them!

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